annotations: hideous men, rapist men, powerful men
E. Jean Carroll on awful men; some advice; and other things I read
This is annotations, a newsletter in which I annotate a story every two weeks, and also read and write other stuff.
annotated: “Hideous Men” by E. Jean Carroll, The Cut
Photo: Amanda Demme for New York Magazine
The president is a rapist.
Let’s just get that out of the way first.
That he faces more than a dozen credible accusations of sexual assault and harassment is not new information, but still, it must be said, and repeated, over and over again.
E. Jean Carroll, a writer and longtime advice columnist for Elle, is the latest woman to come forth with this allegation in her essay “Hideous Men” for The Cut/New York, excerpted from her upcoming book What Do We Need Men For? A Modest Proposal. It’s an extraordinary work, worth your time not just because of the necessity of confronting such truths, but also because Carroll writes about violence and silence with such thoughtfulness, humor, and frankness that it’s almost disarming, considering the pain.
That pain stems from men. Men, writes Carroll, are the root of women’s problems—specifically, Hideous Men, the kind of man who “cheats on his wife,” who “takes his female colleagues’ ideas,” who “keeps 19 guns in his basement.” The kind of man who is raised knowing he owns everything and everyone. The kind of man who sees what he wants and takes.
The reason people are talking about the essay is because of the president, yes, but it would be reductive to call it an essay about the president’s rape of Carroll, although the reader is certainly propelled by that sense of heightened anticipation from the very first paragraph. In fact, there are five assaults detailed in the piece—six, if you include the pain inflicted by a “bloodthirsty, beautiful, relentless” boy, which Carroll herself refrains from lumping in with the others for complicated reasons.
What I’m most struck by are the following:
First, although the president’s presence is felt like a phantom menace from the beginning, and although it’s both the centerpiece and climax of this essay, his name is not mentioned even once (he is referred to, instead, as “the president,” “rich boy,” “the man,” “Walking Phallus,” “real-estate tycoon,” among others). There are a lot of things to be said about names: that there’s power in a name; that by using a name, you lend legitimacy to it; etc. Here’s Elizabeth Limbach in The Atlantic on the power of not saying the president’s name, in particular.
Second, Carroll is so careful to address all the skeptical questions, accusations, and criticisms that always follow these kinds of allegations: what were you wearing? were you smiling and laughing with him? why didn’t you go to the police? why don’t you remember these details? She answers those questions, is transparent about what she does and does not recall, notes when she knows her answers won’t be satisfying enough for some. It’s a preemptive defense that is interesting, rhetorically, but also a reminder that from the very second this was published, there would be people seeking to discredit and destroy her.
Third, Carroll addresses the audience (“Reader,” “you”) several times, creating the effect of an advice column in which Carroll, usually the advice giver, is in this particular instance the advice seeker. She shares her story, her secrets, things she’s kept silent for decades. What we, as the Reader, are left with is the ball in our court. The letter writer has spoken her piece; now, what help will we dispense? What are we going to do…?
HERE ARE MY ANNOTATIONS. (reminder that the google doc is open to comments, so you can add your own annotations or reply to them)
read
What really happened to Malaysia’s missing airplane. [The Atlantic]
“The idea of meritocracy for the feminist striver is one of the most popular stories being told about women and work right now.” [Jezebel]
The origins of New York’s nutcracker, a “brain-numbing” street cocktail I did not know about until now. [Grub Street]
Jiayang Fan profiles author Liu Cixin. [The New Yorker]
Very sad after reading this story about the friendly little robot that entered people’s homes, and how those people are mourning the robot’s certain death. [The Verge]
I can’t explain why I’m so fascinated by WeWork, but here’s an unexpectedly compelling feature about it. [Intelligencer]
Heimat is German for “deep-rooted fondness towards a place to which one has a strong feeling of belonging.” Tarab is Arabic for “musically induced ecstasy or enchantment.” Gigil is Tagalog for “the irresistible urge to pinch/squeeze someone because they are loved or cherished.” This is the glossary of happiness. [The New Yorker]
noted
I’ve been having a hard time lately, so have been finding some solace in reading miscellaneous pieces of advice. I’m not sure yet if it’s helping me, but maybe it’ll help you:
My Vox Media coworker Nicole Zhu wrote about balancing jobs, side projects, and hobbies.
Evergreen “some advice for young people” from 2012 Awl-era Choire Sicha.
not to make this all about The Awl, but here’s Heather Havrilesky on why writing for The Awl was the best mid-career decision she ever made:
There are times in your career when you know you’re being undervalued; you have to get that money or move on. There are times when you feelundervalued, but you’re actually hallucinating — your editor is just busy or stressed out. (This was definitely true of my editor at that respected magazine.) But there are also those rare times when you have to ask yourself what you value the most, even when it means taking less than you arguably deserve.
Goodbye.
jgz